when i open my eyes, i think about how i would get through the day.
before i close my eyes, i wonder how i am able to sleep with so much going on.
whywhywhy does my life seem so dull and uncomfortable.
i'm afraid to show my emotions unable to picture what people would think of my life.
my smiles are big lies cox behind those smiles are the truth to what i am and feel.
why do i have to live in suspense? why do i have to live in emptiness?
i dont see any rainbows after the rain.
i dont concentrate. i dont see whats coming. i dont think of the future.
i seem like one big lie.


when will i find the answer to all my question marks? it feels so unreal.

exams are coming shit. i'll post everything after e exams. happy mugging.

ok i know i just blogged yest. but i'm freakin bored so here i go again.
i just realized i got a tan. i'm red now. dunno if i will peel or anything. all bcox of tennis. the sun was sooo strong!! i was wearing my racer back so now i'v got a freakin cross thinggy on my back!! not to mention my bikini bra. shit!! now i look like a freako.! ok any way. we left house at 7.00pm to go to the club. it was all the way in changi. and its the first time mummy drove on singapore from day to evening. saw many planes. nice! :)) then got lost in the club. so called aunty mee peng to come pick us up. keith came instead. my gosh! he's changed sooo much!! so much more handsome now! he's tall! like 1.7m. i swear i would have a crush on him if not for the fact we were childhood friends. ok so then proceeded to the bowling alley where we met aunty chwee peng and her three children. grace.joel.aron. grace is so pretty la. joel skinny as ever. and aron cute!!could.nt play properly cox of my leg. at least got some spares la. then aunty mee peng gave me some prizes and mooncakes.. whee!! k then we left the club and went to the changi dunno where for supper. on the way e and my sis were acting like some retards so a few guys in the car beside us were staring. then my sis gave them i weird face then they just drove off looking scared. wahahaha. then when we got to the food court i went to order the drinks. when i came back i saw a plate of hokkien mee at my place. kieth bought it for me!! haha! so honoured. k so we went home and watched tv. woke up really late today. had breakfast then did dnt port folio. then here i am.


when will this misery end? when will i find someone to say i love you to.
be mine.

ok ermm..
tuesday. i forgot what heppened in class so lets skip that part. after school met mel and shuana in the canteen. got changed then went to the track and field area. then mr singh came and told us some horrifying news. mrs wong got dengue fever and is admitted in hospital. yup. then we played floorball and i fell down. still have the scar.
wednesday. forgot
thursday. the others had rollerblading test but i couold'nt take it cox of my leg.
friday. met papa after such a long time!! miss him so much!! then had chinese tution. went down poolside saw my cute boy again. whee!!!
saturday. went over to mels today. played tennis. completely embarressed ourselves. then went back to mels place and studied. yup i actually did!!then went for lunch in the club with mummy then came home. will be going for bowling with moms friends tonight.

now i'm standing in the cold
everything is said and done
atomic winter in my soul
from the absence of the sun
the only remedy i know.
is i gotta let you go.
here i am.
here i am.


i cant find the sentance to tell me where to go.

friday.
woke up at round 10 + slacked then had tution. at round 7 mummy drove me t mels. rollerbladed slacked in the com room then went to talk in the bedroom.
saturday.
had no track and field !! haha! mrs wong did this last minute cancel thing. so we could sleep till late!! whee. then mel and i left for orchard to get the myuk pencil boxes and some thinggys. then went back. then mummy came pick me up. next when for tea at the jalan kayu prata place. started raining so we had to like wait for the rain to stop. then went to molly sally and emily lao yi's house. sat there and talked bout their trip to europe. haha. then went for a spin in mummy's car. went to their old neighbourhood and stuff. was really funny la. the three lao yi's were enjoying so much! made so much noise in the car. then drove around looking for a place to eat. ended up in clarke quay. walked around sat by the river then went to the indonesian grill place. but it was too packed. so then the guy said he would call us in bout half hourfor our place. then walked aroung. we were too hungry by then so ended up in a chinese restaurant. then sent them home.
sunday.
slacked at home the whole day. then decided to go for dinner in thomson plaza.
monday.
school reopened!!! i was just sooo sleepy.

tuesday.
well.mummy hannah and moi went to the seletar country club for lunch. wierd thing was that we could not find the eating place and completly forgot we could ask the staff there. so in the end i called mel to find out. kuku la. then went to mels house to fotocopy the rollerblading paper thinggy then went to meet shauna in school. had rollerblading. then in the night just slacked as usual. wednesday. hannah and i went down swimming again. Q: do any of you out there ever wish to see your self in the water?? cox i do! i like my hair in the water. just floats around everywhere. k here's wad happened. i told han that i wanted to buy an underwater cam. to take a pic of myself. kindda stupid. then she reminded me that i could always bring a MIRROR down instead. smart rite? so before we went down. i took my small pocket mirror so people won't think i'm an insane freak. but then hannah had to rub in and bring the big mirror from the make up drawer down. its so paiseifying la!! well so then i spent most of my time in the pool looking at myself. mumy just could not believe it. ok then went home and had dinner
thurday.
woke up really early! cox had to go to school for dnt. then went to compass to do homework. wenan and mel were trying so hard to pis me off. ok then went to school to meet shauna and had rollerblading. yup. then went to thomson plaza and had dinner. saw this cute guy int he foodcourt. then went home and watched tvvvvvvvvvv. vamush@

to continue from sat. so went to fareat and got my darling-long-awaited one-of-a-kind-beautiful-precious-lovable-takencareof wallet. yup. then went to heerens and looked at belts n clips and stuff liddat. irene broke one of the clips. :e omigosh we were like so freaked la! $$6.90 know! and its just those normal soft wire cheap clips with a glittery circle thing. damn ex! the most i would sell it would be like 1.20 AT THE MOST! she we quickly crept out of the shop. haha!then walked back to fareast . e worst thing, my heels were killing my dear feet and my pants were dropping. argghh. then bought irenes bag and went home.
sunday. we were all hiked up and ready to go . where?? east coast. to do what?? cycle. yep. cox my sis was so excited bout the idea of bringing our own bikes . so i had to assemble the bike stand onto the car and carry the freakin bikes on. HARD! gosh! i was gonna die! then we went to buy lunch . as we were approaching the highway, a light drizzle was what filled singapore. then HEAVY RAIN! my godness! the bikes! my hard work all down the drain! and all mommy could do was to pull up along the side and laugh her heart out!!!!!!!!!! then cox she was laughing, my sis laughed. and cox my sis was laughing i laughed! so it was like 3 bimbos sitting in a car with bicycles hanging on the back laughing like maniacs! so we made our way home still laughing mind u. then but the bikes back and walked into the lobby. then in the lift, my mom realized she left the freakin house key in the car. so we burst out laughing again. naturally i had to do the dirty work cox my sis was in my moms eyes too young and my mom in her own eyes to overripe. so duh i'm the only ripe enough one. so i walked into the rain and got the key. ha!
today. had tution in the morning. i died. uhuh literally time stopped [or at least was moving too slowly] and i just could not concentrate. then had lunch and went down gym. then played with my sis in the pool. ok her names hannah k pls. had a cat fight in the pool. had a few boys freaked out by that. then went jacuzzi to burn. haha. then mommy came back at 2.30 and brought us bread. then we went up and ate again. then did math storey and did my nails and hannah's and my moms then just slacked. yupyup. so toodles. i'll be back. muahahaha!

thursday.
yay! finally had my hair cut on thursday! at first found it abit short la.. but i guess i'm getting used to the idea. went to my cousins house. played sims all day long. then went home to get ready for school the next day.
friday.
last day of our semester. yea! 1 week holiday! here i come!din really do much in school la. but i got my eonglish paper back! and .. i passed!!! woots! i'm so happy la!hee! then went to heartland mal with maylin irene and wenyi. had pizza hut. ate to my fill man! i was soooo bloated!then wenyi went home. went to orchard after that, though i was officially broke. yup uhuh no money!! only had like 5 cents in ma wallet.walked around heeren and saw this beautiful roxy handbag so biyootiful!but its like $65 or sumthing. then went to far east. window shopped abit then went to the ultimate pink shop to look at my nightmare before christmas wallet. arrrghhh!! i soooo want it!! the price is really reasonable la so i'm gonna get it yahuh.wanted to get it on the spot but realized i was broke and only had like $12.60 left in my cashcard. wth how to buy??honestly la i was upset. then decided to make our way back. so walked to the bus stop. irene boarded the bus first. so bye gurl. then maylin said she wanted go toilet. so we walked into the df shop thinggy. never really had a good impression of it cox of the first level. all touristy stuff. when when we went up. it was like CHANEL BURBERRY GUCCI PRADA TIFFANY&CO. we were like the only ones in uniforms walking down the red carpet man!woots! then we finally found the toilet. after that went home.
saturday.today.
woke up early cox had to take the bu. mummy had her massage thing.so then went to school. first played the caption med. ball thing. i scored quite alot of goals la. quite happy with myself. then played floorball. i scored one goal which was like WOW! it just like bounced into the goalpost la! then irene called me . asked if wanted to go buy the wallet so duh my answer was yes. yup so i'll stop here.