after i say this u all can call me a mummys girl but i dont care!!!
cos i misssssssssssss my mummy truckloads though she only just went out. i want her home NOWWWWWWWWWWWW

ok havent updated longlong time. haha!
well, schools started, and im missing the hoidays like crazy!!
i miss shopping in msia, i bought so much and had so much fun with my mom n sis!!
oh my gash im broke
school on the first day was kinda ok.. no english and that made things GREAT.
had some band performance during assembly..
tuesday was ok la.. usual school but got punished by mrs * for not bringing april issue of readers digest n im screwed cos i cantg find it. fuck.
after school was supposed to go with drlings to get their hair cut but i had to come home.. met mel then went home.

so like its been kinda hard to stay in class without getting upset.
no matter how i try to distract myself with work it seems hard not to think of _






im not gonna fall into this.
i do not allow myslef to. i swear.
fuck it. cos i know i'll always get hurt.

im back from msia!!
ok but im lzy to updare. tmr then!
oh iv done up like a little bit of my links. finally..
i'll slkowly patch up la..
off to play taidi with darryl gu!

so alot has happened..
yesterday i went for joanne and clarises bbq.. it was fun though i did get drunk and humiliated the hell out of myself. sent sms-es to people and it was all complete crap not relevent to anything at all..

in the morning went to hairlaw to get my hair steamed while mummy dyed and trimmed her hair.. she took a looonggg time and i finished before her so me and sister decided to go to the benches outside to catch up.. i dont know why but we started talking about father and all the relatives on that side.. we talked about how life would be if papa was still married to mummy and how we'd be different if we still were close to grandma on that side.
sister told me soo much about them i dint know. i was thiiissss close to crying but i knew i had to suck it back in. for the first time in forever i finally admitted that i missed him. as we talked the memories of every holiday [thats the only fatherly impresiion i have of him cos thats the time where i really spend time with him] we had as a family. how his jokes used to crack me up. how he used to laugh at every silly thing i did.
that was the old him.
but now he's changed. and i really cant face him or even talk to him cos it hurts when i speak to him and think of what he used to be. all he is now is a pack of lies. saying what he does not mean.
i guess he doesnt know the phrase actions speaks louder than words.
i really wished he was wad he used to be. so that now i could enjoy his company..
i guess thats just my dreaming. now, i only have the memories of long ago to remind me of what fathers are like

so the holidays have past very quickly..
my ankles fine now (:
so on tuesday was outing with marie (: funfun! i havents seen in her _______________days!
the pictures are with her .. so cant post it up..
then on wednesday went out to study with ben.. then bought my nail art (:
haha OH! andandand something really humiliating happened in the toilet!!
i left my fone on the toilet paper dispenser, then i recieved a message so my fone vibrated and dropped on the floorrr!! it split into 2 [ as in the battery detached from the main lcd thing] and the lcd part flew into the other cubicle!! HAHA!! so i though maybe just go out and wait for the occupant in the next cubicle to like come out then i can go and retrieve my fone.. but then i remembered ben was outside waiting and it wouldnt be nice to keep himk waiting rite. so i had to like knock on the door and disrupt the poor lady dealing with her natures call. >.< lucky she was nice about it.. haha!!
well.. thts all for now i guess.. theres nothing much i wanna elaborate on anymore..
OHYA SENTOSA WAS FUN YESTERDAY! i'll do the eleborations when the pics are ready so i can post it up together ..
TOODLESSS

ok things are going down again.
i was thinking and i realized all the songs in my media player brings back different memories..
those long rides in the bus with my earphones in my ears and my mind swimming with thoughts.. some songs just make you feel so connected with it, sometimes you feel the song composer wrote the words with you in mind. you feel like your going through everything just as the song dictates.
so many things hav been going on..
highlight
409's class bbq!!
it was a success!!
yayyy and the best thing was that i planned it!! well, in someway la haha.. cos it was at my place, so i had to plan a bit rite.
oh well.. mummy made everything go so smoothly.
big kudus to her!!
i think the class bonded well (:
played blind mice, indian poker hahaa..
fun!

watched shrek 3.. was kinda boring..

i dont know why, but im starting my emo-ness again. what seemed like recently, i was feeling so happy. feeling blessed with all my friends and everything falling beautifully into place.god knows what happened now. botaks been giving me false hopes again. why call me and apologize but then dissapear again?

im so insecure now. i dont know where i stand in your hearts.. whether i really am important . i havent cried in so long cos of these type of problems. and now, i feel the tears brimming already. i dont miss this feeling. ):
god bless me