Saturday, November 18, 2006
i'm hating my life rite now.
its boring and lifeless.
woke up late today.. spent most of my time on the computer.
i'v been piging out la. gorging myself with all the food i can lay my hands on.
thats why you'll see the huge amount of fats piling on me.
gah. hated every moment of today. ok except ballet. was surprisingly fun today though i'm
ass-ing tired now.
ok i can keep up with 3/4 of the class now and i feel i can control my body better now. my arabesque legs are holding better at 90 degrees. wheets~ all th way sarah.
then had dinner with aunty
wang and hannah at KFC.
see more fattening food.
cabbed home and here i am.
ok i really needa go to the jacuzzi. my legs are hurting. ttooodlless
ps: u guys may choose to ignore this bottom half of the post. its just me ranting about my boring life and emotions.
all these time i'v been holding on for god knows why. telling myself my devotion would pay off.
then i decided some few weeks ago i was just wasting my time and i should carry on with life. going to school was so painful as the scenes were played before me whether i liked it or not. when the holidays came i was soo relieved and happy. i started to let go bit by bit. but now, because of some events, my stubborn heart has settled itself to being devoted again and i'm pissed. i dont understand why i have to be put through the torture of loving without result. like i keep giving but never ever get to take. this world is selfish. cant they balance things up a bit? at least let everything happen for a reason. rather than leaving me pondering on whether or not i'm doing the right thing by loving something so unmoved. i'm so pathetic cox i tell my self the obstacle is worthless and i shud just let go everytime it doesnt talk or respond. but then i relent again once it starts making jokes and making me feel its only me its relating to. then i think of the stuff that happened in school and find that i'v been wasting my time on it. i feel like an idiot. like an insane phsyco freak. like someone who's mind about to be blown. like i'm in a mental state of mind
sarah writes/ 11/18/2006 07:05:00 PM
