Friday, December 15, 2006
its the end.
i'v decided that i have to forget bout this crush.
causing me too much pain and heartaches. seriously.
but its a pity cox i really do love him. i felt tonight. when finally we talked, it was like a rainbow painted over me. i was jumping and so delighted. i know i love him. i just do. but wad to do? i'm sucha fucking wimp. dont even dare to open my mouth to confess.
like that lo. just let something i was so sure of go. silly but ya a drop of tear is like dropping down my face now. and now a whole puddle.
to think i devoted so much time. ahh!! i'm so fucking stupid!!
now just thinking of the "so much" that has happened since the beggining of the year.. its so sad that i have to forget it all. its like this cow has been a part of my life all these while. and he's been on my mind all the while. now just forcing him out just seems so bloody hard and dumb after all the devotion. but i gues it has to be done.
if i just had a chance to tell him how i felt it would be great. haha but thats just me dreaming.
now its so hard to keep the tears frm flowing espacially with weeming gugu beside me making it impossible to just burst out crying like that. ah this is so painful!!
why did i even fall in the first place??
some people may tell me to just continue persisting and that karma would work its way and it will all come back to me.. but i dont feel the same. karma is just another excuse for someone to keep holding on.
ok i think there is no need for me to continue with this post. i'm giving up without even trying and thats fuck.
i failed because i never tried. let this be just the one big setback and mistake i'v made so far.
so here goes.
GOODBYE
COWHELLO SARAH NOW SINGLE AVAILABLE AND SITTING IN CAFES LOOKING AT GUYSloveyouso. it will never change. the part of my heart that was for you will always be there. now just let me delete my memory from you. maybe restore it in a different prospect. bye cow.
sarah writes/ 12/15/2006 12:16:00 AM
