Sunday, June 17, 2007
so alot has happened..
yesterday i went for joanne and clarises bbq.. it was fun though i did get drunk and humiliated the hell out of myself. sent sms-es to people and it was all complete crap not relevent to anything at all..
in the morning went to
hairlaw to get my hair steamed while mummy dyed and trimmed her hair.. she took a looonggg time and i finished before her so me and sister decided to go to the benches outside to catch up.. i dont know why but we started talking about father and all the relatives on that side.. we talked about how life would be if papa was still married to mummy and how we'd be different if we still were close to grandma on that side.
sister told me soo much about them i dint know. i was thiiissss close to crying but i knew i had to suck it back in. for the first time in forever i finally admitted that i missed him. as we talked the memories of every holiday [thats the only fatherly impresiion i have of him cos thats the time where i really spend time with him] we had as a family. how his jokes used to crack me up. how he used to laugh at every silly thing i did.
that was the old him.
but now he's changed. and i really cant face him or even talk to him cos it hurts when i speak to him and think of what he used to be. all he is now is a pack of lies. saying what he does not mean.
i guess he doesnt know the phrase actions speaks louder than words.
i really wished he was wad he used to be. so that now i could enjoy his company..
i guess thats just my dreaming. now, i only have the memories of long ago to remind me of what fathers are like
sarah writes/ 6/17/2007 09:55:00 PM
